I left the nest when I was twenty-four years old; ready to conquer the world with two hundred dollars to my name. My mother couldn't understand why I needed to move to Los Angeles to pursue my career when I lived in New York-the Big Apple. If you can make it there you can make it anywhere.
It was the first time I signed with a big modeling agency, after eight years of being a freelance model. The owner of Q Management, Jeffery, offered me an opportunity to move to Hollywood. This was my ticket out. For me, there was no other choice. I had to see what was out there. I had to try. Regret is something I never wanted to live with. So I took the chance, I took the risk. It's been five and a half years and I'm still taking risks. Still challenging myself and pursuing a life that's fulfilling.
The younger me wanted to see my name in lights. I wanted the razzle-dazzle. There have been countless acceptance speeches to prestigious awards I've won. Of course, no one else knows I have Oscars and Emmy's. I was certain I'd get everything I ever wanted because why not?
My life changed the moment I began living it. I sometimes feel like I'm not moving forward, as if I am stuck in quick sand. It's an illusion. When I look back, when I reflect on all the seasons I have been through, I see it. I see all the progress, all the change, all the good that came with the bad.
Let me correct myself. My life changed the moment I met Jesus. I'm not in a "preachy" mood, so don't run away just yet. I'm just being honest with why there was a shift in my life, for the better. All that glory goes to Him. I can't take any credit. Everything good comes from God.
There were several people that didn't believe in my ability to succeed. I used the anger that created to push forward. I wanted to prove them wrong. Now, I could care less. People will never stop pointing and judging and my goal in life isn't to prove people wrong.
Coming from New York I thought Los Angeles would be easy. What could the outside world teach me that the streets of N.Y. couldn't? Man. I was in for a treat. The struggle was real. The struggle is still real. Los Angeles is a beast. You need to make sure it doesn't chew you up and swallow you.
I find it a bit amusing that I came to Christ in the "devil's playground." He can reveal Himself to you at any time; and I'm so glad He did. It was the perfect moment, the perfect time, the perfect place.
It takes courage to do what you love. It's scary to take risks. However, once you take a leap of faith nothing will ever be the same. I, of course, am speaking my truth. Speaking from the experiences I have been through. I made my choice. What do you choose?Labels: believe, Jesus, Risk
